Where did the NEED to ‘get ahead’ in life originate? Why do we experience an overwhelming desire to be in a future that hasn’t yet unfolded? What keeps us from focusing on and fully experiencing what is right before us in each moment? Exploring the five definitions/examples of how “getting ahead” is used in the English language sheds some light on these questions. From the American Dictionary:
1. To move ahead of someone or something “I managed to get ahead of the rest of the people in the crowd so I could be the first one into the store.”
2. To progress or advance in some aspect of life “I know you want to get ahead at work, but, please, do not get romantically involved with the boss.”
3. To save some money
“I have so many expenses right now that I just can't ever seem to get ahead.
4. To best or outshine someone or something. “I've been working really hard to get ahead of my competition for valedictorian”
5. To take preemptive action before something is revealed or becomes well-known. “We need to get ahead of this scandal before it breaks to the public.
Our need to get ahead assumes that what is happening in the moment isn’t OK and we somehow need to move into a better future to be OK. Needing to be first is based on a belief that what we want won’t be available when we want it – attention, food, recognition, etc. Needing to move up the ladder at work can keep us blind to the additional prices we pay for that next promotion or title including less quality time with our family and taking on additional stress. Needing more money than we actually require to pay the bills and feed our family has us thinking we are not succeeding by simply handling what is in front of us instead of being ‘prepared’ for a future that hasn’t come yet. Needing to outshine others makes lots of sense when there is only one position that many are competing for, yet if it’s not the right position for us, even when our ego says it is, we can hold it over our heads for a long time up when our future goal isn’t achieved.
The reality is that getting ahead doesn’t work. It’s a temporary state that will change again shortly and has us focused on what we have prepared for, instead of the joy of experiencing and expressing ourselves fully in the moment. The best way to create the future we desire is to use a combination of present time appreciation, and visioning/emoting towards a future we want as if it’s happening in the moment. Our job is to be clear about what we want to experience and why and let the universe bring it to us in the perfect way and perfect time. We create a great deal of stress and anxiety measuring ourselves against our ability to ‘get ahead’ in life. As humans we were designed with new desires that arise every time we have completed an experience or learning. Once we can crawl, the desire to walk arises, and then after that the desire will arise to run! Yet, each of us learns to crawl, walk and run at different times depending on who we are and the lives we are living. Trying to get ahead to be the best runner, when we are still learning to walk correctly is not helpful. What is helpful is to appreciate how well we are walking, and then imagine how easy and fluid it is and how great it feels to be running. We can practice what we want to experience on the inside and let the universe bring the experience into our physical reality in the best way for us. No need to get ahead of ourselves or anyone else when we are anchored in the moment-to-moment experience of our lives.
How can you stop trying to ‘get ahead’ today?
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