Getting the Love We Want
Where do we believe love comes from? Does it come from others when we are 'loveable' enough? Is it something that comes from God? Most of us crave it, seek it, and spend our lives hoping to get enough of it. We write songs and poetry expressing our love towards what makes us feel lovable, loved, and loving.
Why is it often so hard to say I love you to another? Many of us believe that once said, we are stuck with an obligation, even if that person becomes ‘unlovable' later on. Or, if we say it first, we wonder will others reciprocate or will our love be rejected? Many of us feel love is elusive or tied to past disappointment, assuming that the love we want comes from others. Wanting it, having it, losing it. These are the ways we speak of love.
What if we love others not because they are loveable, special, or our soulmate, but because WE ARE LOVE? In our natural state of presence, we automatically flow love to what we observe. It has nothing to do with what it is that we are observing. This is how a mother can simply see her child with loving eyes regardless of how the child is being (angry, destructive, hurtful, disrespectful, etc.). When we see with eyes of love, free of judgment about what we are observing, love is our natural state that flows outward from us. We are love! This means that when others flow love to us, it’s not a statement about us and how loveable we are, it’s a statement about the other person and their ability to relax and be their natural self with us. When they are being present, love naturally flows from them and will invoke that same response in us. That's why we think it’s coming from them. It's not.
Why is it easier to flow our love out to an animal, small child or nature? These beings offer a non-judgmental mirror back to us. They reflect back to us our beauty, creativity, innocence, and magnificence with very little distortion. Looking to other humans as a non-judgmental mirror is much more difficult. Many do not seem lovable to us as their values and world-view are significantly different. Some humans match our values and world-view which can provide a similar mirror back to us. That makes them easier to flow our love out to as it is reflected back in ways that feel good to us. Remember – love flows from within us out to others, not the other way around. When we remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and understand, we can drop our judgment and flow love to everyone, even if we don’t want to be with them or interact in any way.
We are love. We can experience that about ourselves when we believe it's true. Love flowing out from us feeds us. Love flowing out of us invokes love in every being we encounter; people, animals and all of nature.
What or who will you flow your love out to today?